So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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