she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
