If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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