Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
