I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
