my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize