Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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