Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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