the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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