Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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