At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
