Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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