Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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