is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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