did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
