So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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