u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
