one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
don't judge my taste in strippers
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
