When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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