Me. At least after what I've been through.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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