It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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