Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
