there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
