listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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