the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There's always time for handjobs
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
