would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
