what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The Olympian is in my bed
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
