He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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