yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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