I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This gyro tastes like lonliness
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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