U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
