the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
