If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
