Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
