K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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