i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
