You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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