You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize