Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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