i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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