That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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