you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
