I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
