i just had sex bonerless
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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