you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
