Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
