he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
