I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
