distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
