Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Non-Jews are for practice
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
