so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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