Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
