Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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