My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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