Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
