Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
