Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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