You made me cry and you don't even care
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
