I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
