she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
