margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize