Kiss
Puke
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
