there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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