omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Everclear isn't food dammit
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
