I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
