I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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