My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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