O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
