have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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