This house was built for laser tag.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
