Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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