it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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