Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
