and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How external is "for external use only"?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize