My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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