found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
